This is what could dare to compare itself to this feeling
Of feeling lost within yourself
Feeling unable to bear anything more
When you become a defenceless victim of this life
Having to leave your bed sometimes
Having to do anything at all
And you feel like your own, personal tormentor
doing things that make you able to live
Which is the last thing you are eager to
Somebody keep asking what disaster you encountered
Believing you need to have a reason
He should be grateful for incomprehension
You know the reason is locked somewhere inside
But nobody has ever reached so deeply
To grab it firmly and wrest out of you
What if it is an inseparable part of yourself?
Which makes you precious and respected
While being just a little unbridled
Happily it is possible to tame the inner demon
I just will devote some more time to it
As it starts to misbehave once again
Sometimes it’s the only stimulus to endure.
Just don’t be silent for too long…
Tomorrow I’ll be so lonely on my own.
Please keep me company
But remember to leave just on time
To give me some space to breathe
To plan the audacious conquest of the world
I’ll miss you all being brave
So please support me when I get back, exhausted
Just don’t become attached on no account
Watch out, you could scare me to death!
I got stressed out, so hug me closely
But then walk away, so I could be my true self
No, I don’t know her yet, why?
She seems a little bit lost
It’s hard to be on a roll all by yourself
Why are the people so fickle?
The desire to discover turns into the mortal sin
My youthful mistakes come so very mature
I’ll surely get where I belong
I can manage following the map ripped to shreds.
Why do people always get in touch with us in the busiests moments
And then they vanish without a trace when we need them the most?
Why do we come up with thousands of ideas for activities while having no time for any
And then run out of ideas while being overwhelmed by our free time?
Why are we bedridden on the days when we crave to go out and stop thinking
And why are we always on the go when we wish to slow down and think for a while?
Why are we always affected by people that hurt us the most or don’t care at all
And meanwhile we totally ignore those who would do everything for us?
Why do we underestimate things that we surely possess
And overestimate those that we are about to loose or which we’ve never had?
Because at the end of the day every cloud has a silver lining
And we are grateful to each struggle for making us wiser and stronger.
let me undress you tonight. Take off all this forced courtesy and come straight to the point. Don’t cover yourself with your protective masks and poses. For the first time be completely naked and unveil your true self.
Don’t be afraid, I’ll teach you everything. I know how it feels to be purely sincere, vulnerable and dependent on understanding and empathy. First times can be painful, so make sure that the person next to you was carefully selected.
As you are already in my shoes, let me be clear. Any meaningful relationship, no matter how you classify it, always consists of two souls, two minds, two hearts. They trust each other fully, like a climber and a belayer, being at both positions at the same time.
Now imagine what happens when one of those two lets go of the rope for his own convenience, without warning… Who cares that he is willing to grasp it again after a break he craved. The companion, to blame for his trust, got injured and does not understand anything at all.
I’ve never aspired to be a doll, easy to put back on the shelf when you are bored with it. I’m not a free-time toy, my personality makes me a climber. Now please make sure that you are ready and responsible enough to follow me to the high mountains, for a safe and mutually pleasant expedition.
Hello, my dream…
Would you mind introducing yourself? I’m incredibly curious about you. Where do you come from? I bet you do not wander aimlessly.
Nobody is faceless nowadays. Could it perhaps be that you’re the involuntary envoy of my mind? From those… you know, the most closely guarded recesses? The ones that I do not want to confess to?
Do not insist on being anybody’s guess. One could mistake you for somebody else… Namely a mix of random, insignificant elements that accidentally appear in sleep… You wouldn’t like to be denuded of your sublimity, would you?
You are such a sealed book to me… Why don’t you lift the veil of secrecy and let me flick you through, page by page? I wish to research into your expectations, comprehend your mission. You intrigue me.
Just as people and events from the images you create – they are astonishing, puzzling, different… Only me tends to be the same, with familiar mindset, all my doubts, worries and innermost wishes.
You know me backwards and forwards. What if you decode everything all around as infallibly? I earnestly hope you play ball with me.
Share your wisdom, I beg you, and teach me to understand. Or if not, just go away and leave my anxious mind in peace.
This is not right to think this way. It makes you feel so uneasy, like you are not strong anymore. Or you’re simply too tired to pretend, who cares?
You are so much convinced that the idea of continuation on this path drives you to the edge (What if this is what you deserve??).
There are these rules, you remember? You established them, they glittered in your emotionally eager head like a perfect arrangement. You accepted them (Did you??).
The unquestionable logic does not discredit this perfection. It’s profitable. It’s smart. It’s exciting. Go for it.
Just your gifted, unique, sensitive, whatever-else soul does not keep up with the idea. It does not give a damn about the rules.
Finally your reserved, educated and experienced brain takes the floor: “Put an end to this, do not let you suffer for the sake of fleeting pleasure.”
But how could I dare, hearing my rebellious, sensual side screaming for more?