Ripped to Shreds

Silence
Sometimes it’s the only stimulus to endure.
Just don’t be silent for too long…
Tomorrow I’ll be so lonely on my own.
Please keep me company
But remember to leave just on time
To give me some space to breathe
To plan the audacious conquest of the world

I’ll miss you all being brave
So please support me when I get back, exhausted
Just don’t become attached on no account
Watch out, you could scare me to death!
I got stressed out, so hug me closely
But then walk away, so I could be my true self
No, I don’t know her yet, why?

She seems a little bit lost
It’s hard to be on a roll all by yourself
Why are the people so fickle?
The desire to discover turns into the mortal sin
My youthful mistakes come so very mature
I’ll surely get where I belong
I can manage following the map ripped to shreds.

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Blessing

Calming down slowly…
Starting to understand that less is more
Not everything needs to be said.

That’s a blessing
My silhouette becomes visible again
Persistent water on a mirror evaporates.

And first of all
I do not care so much already
Thanks God for a short memory.

I could even believe
It will all sort itself out in the end
I just need a day off.

Expedition

Hey there,

let me undress you tonight. Take off all this forced courtesy and come straight to the point. Don’t cover yourself with your protective masks and poses. For the first time be completely naked and unveil your true self.

Don’t be afraid, I’ll teach you everything. I know how it feels to be purely sincere, vulnerable and dependent on understanding and empathy. First times can be painful, so make sure that the person next to you was carefully selected.

As you are already in my shoes, let me be clear. Any meaningful relationship, no matter how you classify it, always consists of two souls, two minds, two hearts. They trust each other fully, like a climber and a belayer, being at both positions at the same time.

Now imagine what happens when one of those two lets go of the rope for his own convenience, without warning… Who cares that he is willing to grasp it again after a break he craved. The companion, to blame for his trust, got injured and does not understand anything at all.

I’ve never aspired to be a doll, easy to put back on the shelf when you are bored with it. I’m not a free-time toy, my personality makes me a climber. Now please make sure that you are ready and responsible enough to follow me to the high mountains, for a safe and mutually pleasant expedition.

Another 50 Shades

This is not right to think this way. It makes you feel so uneasy, like you are not strong anymore. Or you’re simply too tired to pretend, who cares?

You are so much convinced that the idea of continuation on this path drives you to the edge (What if this is what you deserve??).

There are these rules, you remember? You established them, they glittered in your emotionally eager head like a perfect arrangement. You accepted them (Did you??).

The unquestionable logic does not discredit this perfection. It’s profitable. It’s smart. It’s exciting. Go for it.

Just your gifted, unique, sensitive, whatever-else soul does not keep up with the idea. It does not give a damn about the rules.

Finally your reserved, educated and experienced brain takes the floor: “Put an end to this, do not let you suffer for the sake of fleeting pleasure.”

But how could I dare, hearing my rebellious, sensual side screaming for more?