I’m sorry for feeling so perfect with my imperfection.
Forgive me that I have the audacity not to be satisfied.
With the others.
The lesser devil does not suit the lifetime dilemma.
Let me abstain from voting.
Nothing is easy on the eye, no living balm to my heart.
I stay clear of it all, not to let myself down.
Please don’t judge my head, constantly in the clouds.
Don’t blame me for believing, that I deserve much more.
This is not right to think this way. It makes you feel so uneasy, like you are not strong anymore. Or you’re simply too tired to pretend, who cares?
You are so much convinced that the idea of continuation on this path drives you to the edge (What if this is what you deserve??).
There are these rules, you remember? You established them, they glittered in your emotionally eager head like a perfect arrangement. You accepted them (Did you??).
The unquestionable logic does not discredit this perfection. It’s profitable. It’s smart. It’s exciting. Go for it.
Just your gifted, unique, sensitive, whatever-else soul does not keep up with the idea. It does not give a damn about the rules.
Finally your reserved, educated and experienced brain takes the floor: “Put an end to this, do not let you suffer for the sake of fleeting pleasure.”
But how could I dare, hearing my rebellious, sensual side screaming for more?
There is a thing as inconspicuous as powerful.
It does not have wings, but even a moment would be surprised how elusive it can be, when you wish it to stay.
Without a body it can shame the stone by its resistance, when you try to free yourself of it.
It can bring you down like a villain – easily, ruthlessly, before you know it.
And immediately thereafter your broken self gets surprised how this angelic being lifts you up.
It is not a fighter, so do not compete. Make it your friend, have a stormy affair.
Do not expect a peaceful spouse, but let yourself be inspired.
Make love, not war.
Don’t hold your thoughts back, write poems.